(February 5, 2015, St. Louis, MO) Anger evaluation means trying to understand the causes of anger. Some causes of anger are burried deep down into the subconscious that to be able to find them really needs some serious thinking.
For example, a person who was brought up in a very angry environment that had a lot of yelling, cursing, etc., naturally will grow up to be a very angry person.
Others are raised where they see adults throw objects, hurt themselves and others. Thus, they will grow up showing that anger also.
Oftentimes, painful memories may also cause a person to always be angry at anything and everybody. This is called displaced anger. So, if you happen to be the one this person is angry at, chances are, you really did not do anything to make this person angry. You just happened to be there, and he is using you to vent his displaced anger.
At other times, angry people disown their anger. They blame others for their anger. Therefore, they intentionally provoke others to a fight.
Some people are unable to recognize their anger. This is because they grew up in an environment where they were punished for showing their anger. These are the kind of people who release their anger in a sneaky way.
For example, a husband might criticize her wifeâs hairdo and put her down to make her unhappy, without even realizing that he is doing this because deep down, he is just a very unhappy person.
What this means is that sometimes you could be the target of somebodyâs anger without having done anything just because you just happened to be there.
If you happened to be this person who is always angry, spend some serious quiet time and find out what is making you angry.
What is it that you want that you are unable to get? What is stopping you from getting it? What are your resources?
Remember, do not count on people to make you happy or to give you what you think will make you happy. People have their own problems.
When you find out what is causing you to be angry, that is more likely an unattainable goal, make plans to attain it step by step.
Rome was not built in one day.
Make plans. Have some back up plans. Whenever you fail, analyze what caused the failure. Then learn from your mistakes and improve your method until you reach your goal.
It took me fourteen years to learn how to write a book. It took me about twenty five years to learn how to write, publish, market, etc., my books.
For me to able to write books and build my credentials, I had to get my Doctor of Philosophy from one of the best university in the world, St. Louis University in America.
However, what I learned from splattering my blood guts in writing my dissertation, so to speak, helped me learn how to do research and write books.
So now, I do not have the time to be angry because I am enjoying my accomplishments.
Dr. Lord writes, "Only with self fulfillment can people reach a stage where they are not angry all the time. They sometimes see humor in what make some people angry."
For further information on understanding anger, read Dr. Lordâs Excellence Education: Stress, Anger Management, Self-Esteem Development and Ethical Decision Making, that is available at drudislord.com, Barnes and Noble, and Amazon.com.
Dr. Lord is available as a speaker and for media interview.